I am finding quitting easier this time than ever before. Safe to say, this time has been really different from my previous attempts to ‘banish the booze monster!!’ Now I’ll be honest from the get go, normally I would be quite literally counting the minuets until I could have my beloved booze! But this time, I just haven’t thought about it in that way whatsoever!
During my last quit attempt (yes, there has been quite a few) I said I wanted to do 12 weeks. The logic behind this, was I had signed up for the F45 Challenge in November 2021, and I was drinking mostly everyday after work, and most definitely every single weekend. I was hoping to get off the booze in preparation for the challenge starting, so that I didn’t look like a complete lightweight for the first few classes. I started out by reading Annie Grace - This Naked Mind, and got myself pumped for a healthier life and the long awaited bikini bod I had dreamed about for years! The initial 6 weeks flew past! To celebrate, (the day before the challenge) we went to the pub! Safe to say I didn’t make the first day of ’bikini bod in training’ I also had awoken the deeply buried ‘Booze Monster’ and the rest of the challenge was filled with A-LOT of hangovers, skipped sessions and even a weight GAIN. Yuck!
What on earth was I thinking?
17 days ago I had my last drinks for the foreseeable future. Since last year, I’ve been reading books and listening to podcasts, mostly on the law of attraction, addiction, the quitting process, and LOTS of crime fiction, mostly about it serial killers and grisly murders. I have really enjoyed absorbing knowledge from different perspectives and experiences! I feel so much stronger this time. I feel more equipped to tackle the undoubtably difficult road ahead. Do I feel scared? Absolutely! Do I worry that I’ll fail again? Correct! Do I have crippling anxiety sometimes that I will never quite enjoy social situations again? Fucking damn straight I do! Is that going to stop me from trying? Is it fuck!
For the first time in over 10 years, I have completed;
- Sober UFC Sunday at the pub surrounded by drunk people.
- Sober Valentine’s Day, complete with meal and people drinking everywhere. - 2 weeks of sober living. Not a drop, drip or lick of booze has passed these lips. - Social activities while sober. For example: Shopping with a GF without stopping off for margaritas halfway (This is a huge win)
- Lunch in the pub with no booze! (Another huge win)
I have learned about the ‘Pink Cloud’ in early sobriety. I wonder if this is it? The feeling that all is well, feeling incredibly strong and confident. For now I’ll accept the pink cloud if this is what it feels like. For now, I’ll be taking my days slowly and being kind to myself along the way. After all, not being kind to myself is what got me here in the first place.
With love,
SoberGirl
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